Anti-tips for beginners, or how to ruin your vacation

Anti-tips for beginners, or how to ruin your vacation ;) 1) Don't take trekking poles — save on extra baggage instead (you can't take poles with sharp tips in your carry-on). This will let you swing your arms joyfully as you walk and slide down, epically but not very gracefully, on the so-called scree (lots of small pebbles), flying out into the endless expanses of Butterfly Valley and overtaking the butterflies in mid-air; 2) Take fancy sneakers or trainers, or better yet flip-flops — this will also let you slip on stones polished by tourists' feet and on wet ground, and once again soar over the azure of an incredibly beautiful lagoon, but without a parachute (an obvious saving of 110 euros!); 3) Take clothes that aren't hiking gear but natural, as Grandma says, "so it can breathe" (that's about me ))))). All these technologies and modern developments in outdoor clothing are the work of the devil, they're not for you! You walk along sweaty, red-faced from the heat, sit down on a rock at the first opportunity and fan yourself vigorously with your sun hat, and most importantly — you're soaked, sweat pouring down in streams! You'll be amazed at what a powerful water cycle your body has! 4) Take not a hiking backpack (light and comfortable) but an office one — after all, it's a "hike without backpacks" — preferably with your company's logo (that's me too), and ideally pack it like an "emergency go-bag": a power bank, a flashlight, a makeup bag (what kind of girl are you without a makeup bag?!). With a backpack like that, no wind can scare you! 5) Don't take a sit pad. Sharp-edged boulders at rest stops and prickly grass are a natural massage, good for circulation and muscle tone — or a chance to stand while everyone else is relaxing over coffee at the rest stop, since standing up you can fit in more coffee/tea and food. 6) Lose your swimsuit on the hike… but that's a separate story that the old elders of Turkey will retell from generation to generation, languidly drawing on fragrant hookah smoke and gazing into the distance.